Mother

Since the day I was born up until this very day, an inexhaustible source of love, support and care. For more than two decades she never took a sick day, never judged and was always there. Sacrificed so much and asked for nothing in return. Showed and taught me right from wrong and made me into the man I am today.The ability to judge right from wrong, one of the many gifts granted to me by my mother. The capacity to love beyond everything else is another. Both of which I am grateful for, although the latter caused me a lot of pain in life I wouldn't change it for anything. I've inherited and learned a lot from her and there is no amount of words that can express the gratitude I have for everything she did and still does every day. 

I've made a lot mistakes in my life. From lying and scheming before the age of ten to being a horrible person to others later on. She would always sit me down and try to have a normal conversation with me and explain where I went wrong. Unfortunately for her that never worked so she had to resort to other disciplinary methods, ones she was not very fond of. I've only recently realized how much every slap she had to give me hurt her, how much every tear I shed was painful. Had I known all of that growing up I would've probably cried less and behaved more, but I guess that's all  part of growing up.

Until recently I honestly had no clue about how much she really sacrificed for me. All of her dreams, all of her free time. She put her entire life on hold for twenty years to make sure I became a decent human being. I cannot begin to imagine taking such a sacrifice for another no matter how much I love them but I guess that will change once I have a child of my own. Talking to other people my age I realized how lucky I was to have such a great mother. While others had alcoholics or mothers who would regularly beat them for fun, mine was loving and caring. I further realized how fortunate I was to have a younger mother than most, her being twenty-one years old when she gave birth to me. That just meant that with luck I would have more time with her, and lucky I was since she is healthy. I am happy to have grown up with a mother who when I had a problem of any kind was there. No matter how much I screwed up there was never any judgement, only support and concern. There was never a doubt in my mind that she would give her blessing to anything I chose to do with my life. Priest, mechanic, car sales rep, waiter, business person, she would be alright with anything as long as I am happy.

The same goes for the choice of life partner, male or female, as long as my happiness was certain so was hers. That liberty to do whatever and choose whatever is another thing I am happy to have had. That freedom of choice is what led me to make many mistakes which were necessary lessons in life. It takes a lot of strength to let someone you love so much make mistakes like that knowing it's going to hurt them and Jesus did I make a lot of those,all of which must have hurt her more than me, but now that I'm all grown up I can see in her eyes that all the pain was worth it because it all led to me becoming who I am. Someone she is proud of. A lot of people kept telling her where she was going wrong in raising me, how should things be done and how they shouldn't. Thank God she never listened and did things her own way, because now all of those parental geniuses have monsters for children while my mother is relaxing with a cop of coffee without having to worry about me. She managed to build a bond of mutual love, trust and respect with me and knows that no matter what is going on I will always be honest about it, which is something that few people can say about their relationship with children. I can only hope to one day have the love and trust of my children like she does. The only thing my mother always hoped for is that she would live long enough to take care of her grandchildren and while it seems like that won't happen soon, I honestly hope she will be around for it because she will be the best and most loving grandmother they could hope for. 

This last paragraph is for you mom. Thank you for everything you've ever done for me, for everything you will do, for teaching me how to find happiness in the saddest of times, how to spread love to others and most importantly how to love another. Thank you for all the sacrifices you had to make for me. I know it wasn't easy but I will do my best to make sure those sacrifices weren't in vain. Sorry for every foolish fight, for every tear and for all those times I've said things I shouldn't, you know I didn't mean any of it. I know you cried a lot over the years, sometimes because of things I did, sometimes because of things others have done to me. I want you to know that non of it ever mattered because I always had you and dad by my side and as long as the three of us are together everything will be alright. I love you more than I can put into words and I hope you will be with us for a very long time because after everything you deserve to spend the rest of your life in nothing but happiness and I will do my best to make sure that's how it goes. 

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